i feel so normal today :)

i feel so normal today. waking up to the typical weather i fond of in the midst of weather switching. i skipped my sahoor today but... it's not a big matter since i'm just staying home this day. 

prayed and i recited quran, i'm glad today i could get to see my magical verses again after longing for it for a couple of days. al-waqiah has always been my favorite since it brings a lot of unpredictable things, surprising. just so you know, surprising things always able to melt my heart away. 

it's my turn to cook today. beside the appetizer and side dish, fried noodle with my i-made-it-on-my-own recipe is the main menu i chose. breakfasting with dates because my roommate just bought it. haha. it's already the tenth day of the holy month but we just had that. while having them, i could feel the chewy and slightly-sticky texture from the dates. and its sweetness is just eternal, nostalgic. it embraces the taste of ramadhan on my tongue. as i swallow it slowly—like i always use to—it goes to my stomach, meanwhile i imagine it becomes mushy and fusing, turning into flesh and blood. 

i prayed tarawih. inhaling gratitude, exhaling hope and prayer. 

...through this week... there are so many things just happened as the universe wanted it to be and it's all out of my control. but i am so lucky to still have control to decide how i want to feel about them all. and i decided to give them a big warm hug because i love them and i can't be me with my own mind today if it's not because of them. so thanks to them and all the people god has sent to be part of it...

and yeah. i just feel so normal today. i fall in love with my own feeling for approximately the 63819763728194 times. but anyway, thanks to you whoever you are for making this sort of affection exist. you are such a kind guy since you've been making me feel like i treated so well. 

i think about oreo ice cream and discovered that small-but-grand shop beside my building sell it. so i bought two—the cone and the cup one—then i found out happiness after knowing that at the end of the cone i found caramel melted and not chocolate. and now i don't know how should i express that feeling. let's just say that i feel...caramelized.

enjoyed my ice cream with words written by jostein gaarder. through a glass, darkly... i now figured out that something could be so nice it's almost hurts, but something couldn't be so hurt it's almost nice. i also found these beautiful sentences by Ariel—the bald angel on the book—i chose to end my concious normal day that said: 

'the sky mirrors itself in the sea. in that way god can mirror himself in a pair of human eyes. for the eyes is the mirror of the soul, and god is able to mirror himself in a human soul.' 

:)